Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
