stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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