I'm going to jail i love you
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
