Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
