stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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