puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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