Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
