Apparently you make a good broom.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
