I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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