Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
