Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
