How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
