I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
