just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
