Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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