i think my tv is drunk
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
