Your dad touched me again.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
