Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
