I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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