Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
