she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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