Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
