I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
ttyl tear gas
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
