He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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