What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
