i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
