Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
