If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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