last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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