In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
