Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Bring me that man meat
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
