it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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