Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
