i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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