Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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