it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
