So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
