She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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