Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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