So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
