So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
