My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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