Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
