She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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