im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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