did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The Olympian is in my bed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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