My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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