i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm experimenting with sincerity
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
