i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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