ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
