Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
