Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
