So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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