so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
