Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
