Is it because I queefed?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize