I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How external is "for external use only"?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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