So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
