Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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