Why are handjobs necessary in class?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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