Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
