Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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