You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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