It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Did you just see the Batmobile???
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
