who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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