like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We have started to decorate penises.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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