Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
