he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
