Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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