I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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