If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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