Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
