spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
